MotoGP: Numbers? Sometimes You Just Gotta Race ’em Anyways.

May 8, 2007

Posted by Martin:

Coming into Shanghai, the main concern for the race was the fact that the Ducatis were up 20 horsepower on the competition. 553241_80602.jpg Normally, this doesn’t mean a whole lot in the world of two wheels when compared to four wheeled racing, as a smooth and consistent power delivery is much more important to successful corner speeds than raw power. However, the Shanghai track has two of the longest straightaways in the MotoGP Circuit. And what does that benefit? Horsepower. The critics were calling for the Italian bike to sweep up all the podium spaces it could grab. After all, with those kilometer long straightaways, who could keep up?

So what happened? A race is what happened. And, more importantly, something that did’t quite fit the expectations a lot of people. Read the rest of this entry »


Crotch Kick of the Week #1

May 2, 2007

Posted by Chris, visuals by Martin

And the winner is… Michael Vick! Congratulations Michael! It wasn’t enough that you ran around infecting women with herpes as “Ron Mexico”. It wasn’t enough that you gave the finger to your fans – or even that you had your secret little pot stash in your water bottle while going through airport security. You went that extra mile. You had dog fighting matches in your house – complete with blood soaked carpets and furniture! Yes, you are one class act, Michael, and for that, we kick you, square in the testes. Wait… can you get herpes on your foot? We might need to rethink this one, just this once…


Now, in our discussions about this week’s CKotW, we went over the following:

Kon opines: Anyone else thinking Sony deserves it for that ridiculous stunt that pulled with the goat? The last thing Jack Thompson needs is to learn that the INDUSTRY itself is promoting super-violence or whatever he calls that garbage.

Martin writes: I think Sony gets a pass because that kind of stuff seems to be normal in Japan. Fits right in with the schoolgirl panty dispensers and the game where the objective is to stick your fingers into someone else’s unsuspecting asshole. Editor’s note – see “Kancho“, and don’t ask the editor how he knows this

Spencer writes: Besides, where is Sony’s crotch?

All-Pro Football 2K8 Update

April 30, 2007

Posted by Chris:

I’m a few days late on this, but Visual Concepts has launched the official All-Pro Football 2K8 website.  You can see a listing of some of the players you’ll be able to use by mousing over the header image there.   I couldn’t help but notice that O.J. Simpson is listed.  I find that intersting, to say the least.  I mean, sure, he’s one of the greatest running backs in NFL history, but you know… he did murder his wife and all… 

If you have read the Game Informer article, there’s not alot new here, but I’m sure the site wil be updated with information over the next few weeks.  Find the website HERE.

MotoGP: Istanbul or Crashtantinople?

April 24, 2007

Posted by Martin:

MotoGP made it to Istanbul this past weekend and managed to defy all expectations. Well, apart from Casey Stoner still riding like he’s got bees in his shorts on the Ducati.

Honda’s Dani Pederosa, a favorite to be on the podium, was taken out in a spectacular looking crash on the first lap that also claimed Suzuki’s Chris Vermulen, and Valentino Rossi’s teammate Colin Edwards, all caused by Kawasaki’s Olivier Jaque’s front wheel deciding it wanted to be elsewhere than planted. Valentino Rossi also did not fare well, with his tire proving to be his nemesis once again, losing him precious time and positions.

While the first position was sealed essentially from the first lap, the battle for second and third places continued throughout the race. Tony Elias proved once again that he’s a special kind of crazy, muscling Rossi out of the way in what can only be described as an extremely optimistic passing approach. However, Rossi can not complain too much, as if one were to ask Gibernau, he’d probably have some similar things to say about the Italian. Third place was also extremely fluid, with a good number of riders jockeying for the final podium position. Ultimately, Loris Capirossi was able to capture the position across the finish line on the final lap.

While the current World Champion, Nicky Hayden, only finished seventh, he finally looked competetive on the new 800cc machines which have required a smoother riding style compared to the previous season’s 990cc machines. Hopefully this means he’ll start to be able to defend his championship.

The final podium order was Edwards, Elias and Capirossi, with Ducati having the first and third spots. Their horsepower advantage is becoming apparent, and it’ll be something the Japanese manufacturers will need to remedy quickly if they intend to remain competetive next week in Shanghai.

And here’s a link to someone who can write a lot better about the sport than I can:

NASCAR ain’t got diddly on MotoGP. Some of the finest actual racing to be found on television. If you enjoy motorsports, you’re doing yourself a disservice by not following this.

All-Pro Football 2K8

April 20, 2007

Posted by Chris:

Are you like me? Do you hate EA for grabbing exclusive licenses for the NFL and NCAA? Well, Digital Illusions, the folks who brought us what I consider to be the best football game since Tecmo Bowl – the NFL 2Kx series – are back in action on the new generation of consoles. Sure, there’s no NFL license, but for the real football fans, that was only the icing if the game was good enough. All-Pro 2K8 is due out on the same day as Madden, and for me, this one’s a no brainer. See the latest Game Informer for more details, or check Gamespot’s preview HERE.

Kon Transcribes: EA deserves every newton (read: measurement of force) of that kick to the crotch. Sack’s of giant dookie they are for taking what really belongs to everyone, the NFL namesake. For as little sports games, like baseball and football, that I play, I really can’t stand to see such a prominent member of the industry do such a vile thing…and with such little flak from anyone! When I heard of this a while back, I was appualed, but none of my usual news sources even had a blip on their radars about it. Maybe it is just me though. Anyway, I digress. Lets hope All-Pro 2K8 kicks the ever-living shnitzel out of EA’s Madden NFL. I want EA to know, loud and clear, that we wont stand for such crap.

I digress a lot.

F1 Bahrain Results

April 15, 2007

Posted by Martin:

After some controversy of last week Massa captured pole position yesterday and led the race to finish first. Young phenom Lewis Hamilton set F1 history by capturing a spot on the podium in his first three races. Third place went to Kimi Raikkonen, giving Ferrari two of the three top spots for the race. Notably absent from the front was former Championship leader Fernando Alonso, who surrendered fourth place to BMW Sauber’s Nick Heidfeld, thanks to a daring and brilliantly executed pass by the bearded German. Also finishing in the points were Kubica (BMW), Trulli (Toyota), and Fisichella (Renault).

The drama to see who is stepping up to fill the void left by Michael Shumacher, who recently retired, is proving to be interesting. The mere fact that the current world champion is being beaten by his rookie teammate gives a hint at the storyline which could unfold this season.

However, the on-track racing has proven to be dull, to say the least. With the exception of Heidfeld passing Alonso, most of the action on the track occured in the back of the grid. Looking at the comparison between their qualifying position and their final result, the only difference in the top six was the Alonso/Heidfeld swap. There were a few changes in position, but most of the passing was done in the pits. Watching Raikkonen suffer the aerodynamic penalties of attempting to pass Alonso was frustrating to say the least (Kimi later passed with a faster pit stop). This mere fact that most of the race result is decided by qualifying and race strategy is perhaps one reason F1 has yet to catch on in the mainstream in the United States. The cars may be technically superior to NASCAR, but the races where it comes down to the final lap are few and far between, and as such, will always finish second to the crash and bang left turn of American Stock Car Racing. Although, there’s not a whole lot one can ask for, as the more restrictions that are placed on constructors (and there already are a lot) it takes away from the “let the best manufacturer/driver combination win” mentality of F1, shifting it more towards a spec car series. But some part of me just wishes we could go back to the heyday of GP racing… No aero packages, sheer mechanical grip, and balls the size of watermelons.

Oh, and for the Scott Speed Sucks Report: Crashed out on Lap 1.

— Breaking News —

April 13, 2007

Posted by Chris

We have just recieved breaking news on the new Madden for this fall.  Apparently, there will be big changes this year, and boy is this going to be great!  It seems as though they have decided to change – get this folks – the “07” to an “08”!!!  But that’s not all.  Early reports indicate that there will be updated rosters!  Praise the Lord!

I bring this up because I was pressed to pre-order Madden 08 today as I visited my local Gamestop.  The guy behind the desk said “I hear it’s supposed to be great this year”.  I thought, you were the same guy who told me the same thing last year.  Only, I’m not sure he was… but somebody at a game store sure as hell said it.  Every time I think about that God-forsaken franchise, I can’t help but remember how EA, Madden 0x, and the NFL killed the best football franchise since Tecmo bowl – 2K Sports NFL. 

This stuff carries a bit of weight for me, as the defining moment in my young videogame life was when the trackball painfully pinched that meaty part of my thumb/palm while playing Atari x & o football in a Pittsburgh arcade in the winter of 1980. From that moment forward, I was a video gamer.  Mattel handhelds, Intellivision NFL, and every system that followed was purchased more for me to play football on it than for any other reason.  Even the 3DO.  That’s $800 for a football game (a stupid $800).  So, as a serious football fan and video game fan, the whole Madden thing disgusts me.  And I’m not sure which is worse – the game, or the fans of the game.  Madden has brought about an entirely new breed of football fan.  These are the fans of the players.  These are the fans of the lifestyles.  They call their 1 bedroom apartment their “crib”.  They thought Terrell Owens got a raw deal in Philly, and the same for Keyshawn when he was in Tampa.  They own Michael Irvin jerseys. They can’t wait to see what the next crazy touchdown celebration is.  Madden Fan is worse than Raider Fan.  Far worse.  And I hate ’em.

EA most certainly deserves a crotch kick for that.