June 25, 2007

Posted by Kon

June 23 , 2007 1100 hours.

“Those Mexicans are crazy man, they bull rushed the castle twice today” I over hear a Russian say. “We need to lock down that place; call the General.” another responds.

I pop up from behind the birm from which I was hiding. A mere six feet separate myself and four vodka-swigging grunts. One a portly fat man, another a beanstalk of a person; two more are just kids.

“SURRENDER! I yell at the top of my lungs. The four soldiers ahead of me stare in shock and panic, and the shorter one drops to his knees and turns. I double-tap the trigger, and put two in his face. He collapses in a heap on the road. The pair of kids drop to their knees as a statico of automatic fire pours in from down the road. A dozen Mexican troops are hustling towards me. The beanstalk Russian ducks his head and dives down on the road, avoiding the fire.

“OUT OUT OUT OUT!” He screams. The ref appears almost magically from behind a stack of barrels.

“MEN OUT, LET ‘EM OUT” the ref belts for all to hear. As fast as he arrived, the ref seems to vanish back into another realm.

“Good work, wetback” the chunk of Russian says, “You won’t be so lucky next time we meet.” He leaves with a smirk, one I am sure I will see again.

The Mexican forces reach my position. “Luck we were got here, you would have been toast!”

“Yeah, I suppose.” I reply half-assed, knowing I had the situation under control. “Time to get to Sin City, Canada is stuck between a rock and a hard place, and the Blues are pushing hard down the right flank. It’s going to be overrun, but we might as well get who we can.”

The sound of automatic fire continues in the distance, and the audible ring of a special sniper rifle can be heard in the brush not far from were we stand.

“Let’s go.” I tell those following me, and we head off into the woods, moving along the rapidly collapsing right flank of the Mexican Army.


Just One of my many ‘awesome-o’ moments of last weekend’s paintball event at Hell Survivor’s Paintball Field in Hell, Michigan. Global Conquest came to an end with some fun and interesting results, some of which I will attempt to chronicle on here.